Bends and Bands

 

I'm fresh out of a meeting with my manager. He's back from a week in Barcelona, where senior leaders and salespeople met to kick off the year. Everything went as usual, except for the last minute of the meeting. 

"By the way," he said, "has anyone told you you won't be getting a compensation review?"

No. Who would have told me that? That's typically something a manager would tell a direct report, right?

He proceeded to explain that because I was already at the max for my band, that I wasn't eligible for an increase, despite the fact that inflation has raised the cost of living significantly across the globe. The reason, he said, was that I'm still on paper as a QA Engineer, even though I moved out of that role two years ago. I explained I wasn't happy with this explanation. Why should I be penalized because of some clerical error? If someone failed to move me into the correct role, then move me and apply a compensation increase retroactively. This seems rather simple, no? 

Apparently not. He's arranged a followup meeting for us to discuss this matter further.

Let me point out that I'm not upset with him. He's just the messenger. I'm upset with whoever the decision-maker here was. I was clear to indicate this to him, in the interest of transparency, but I wasn't hiding my dissatisfaction either. I was perhaps too candid in my disapproval. Oh well. At least I have a job, for now. Part of me wonders if this is a not-so-subtle hint that I won't have a job for much longer. The tech industry has been hit with massive layoffs recently. Several of my friends are currently unemployed and looking for work. In my case, a layoff would be more complicated and carry additional consequences given I'm in Germany on a work visa. Perhaps it's time to start tidying up my resume.

Otherwise the day has been rather shite. I slept abysmally. I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't fall back asleep. I can sense I'm irritable. When I was making breakfast I slammed my head off the counter after picking up a fallen strawberry from the floor. The weather is wet and cold and very windy. Trees outside are bending and swaying a little too much for my liking, and probably theirs. 

I wonder if a tree fears strong winds. 

The tree risks being uprooted, losing its limbs or even snapping under the force. It can't be pleasant. Then again, a tree might say the same about someone staggering drunk across an uneven sidewalk. I'll need to go to the store to get a few things, water mainly. 

The world outside seems so uninviting.