Torched

I thought I had used this photo already, but looking back over my recent posts I realized I was mistaken. When I spoke to Wes Sunday night, telling him about this shot, about how pleased I was with the edit - somehow managing to make it look like a jellyfish made of flames drifting slowly downward inside a darkened sea - I was shocked to see I hadn't actually posted it. My mind has been torched the past few days, overburdened by bullshit and dogged by drudgery, so much so that I'm finding it difficult to write. Come to think of it, it makes perfect sense that I'd forgotten the photo. Right now my mind feels like a giant marshmallow roasting over a campfire, crispy and charred outside, sticky and melted on the inside. 

Even though the brightness on the computer screen is set one notch above zero - normally a relatively soft, easy on the eyes kind of brightness - I feel my eyes drying up, wincing (briefly blurring the letters on the page) and crying out for moist tears. Maybe it's my eyes that are like marshmallows, not my brain. My brain is more like a door with warped and rusted hinges, creaking and popping loudly as it's pushed, unable to fully open or close - unable to let anything in or out or through - it exists as an obstacle instead of an aperture.

f/256

I'm going to bed.