Whore's Booger

I've had some deep thoughts tonight:

- Isn't it strange how sometimes you can't get a wet booger off your finger?

- Just how long does it take for a booger to dry?

- How come some are crusty?

- Do boogers stink? If they do, why can't we smell them?

The top of my head is peeling. Like an idiot I walked around the desert with the sun blaring down right onto my bald spot. It sizzled. The hat I bought was purchased too late to save my red-lobster scalp. Now, perched atop the crop circle on my head, I have a young rattlesnake shedding skin, selling buckets of shrimp for $3.99. Each time I scratch my head, which itches wildly, thin white flakes float down before me like snow. Even Freddy Krueger wore a fucking hat for Christ's sake. Oh well. I'll use it to impress girls at dinner parties. "Want salt with that," I'll ask, right before tilting my head forward and shaking out a few homemade pieces of salt. Hell, it could even pass for parmesan if I wanted to get fancy!

I met with Q and his little one earlier, for a brief city soiree. We went to Golden Gate Park and climbed a tower where we looked out over the whole park, pointing out places we'd passed on our way. We had hotdogs and ice cream, soft drinks. The boy is beatific, effusively happy. Not even the contempt hurled at us by the pedestrians whose crosswalk we blocked could phase his joyous disposition. Pedestrian contempt. I like that phrase. Its meaning is immediately obvious and self reflexive - the combination of words functions as a compound noun and also an adjective which names the thing. Pedestrian contempt, it's so pedestrian. It's directed at us if we fart loudly in public or chew with our mouths open, or if we talk loudly in a decidedly quiet space. It's when we cause someone a minor inconvenience which they lack the patience, maturity, or desire to deal with in a dignified fashion. It is often expressed in a passive aggressive sigh or a roll of the eyes, a glare, an incredulous, exasperated throwing up of the arms or shaking of the head.

When I shake my head it's like a snow globe with a hole in it; all of the snow comes falling out. How long can I beat this horse for?

I wonder what a horse booger looks like.