Well, I'm up. I woke up early; I'm not sure what time, exactly, I just know that I was having a dream in which I'd realized I was being deceived by someone whom I believed was a representation of myself. Then I had a choking sensation which slowly took me out of the dream and back to my bedroom. I think it was a chokeubus. That's what my penis thinks I am. Always coming to it when it sleeps, waking it with vigorous, carnal choking that results in its inevitable vomiting. Most men, I'd think, have this emetic effect on their penises.
Penises.
Penances.
Panache!
It's never too early to be lewd. As I said, I'm not sure how long I've been awake, but I know that I've managed to drain my iPhone 6 battery down to 89%, so that's something. I was invited to go with some friends to celebrate a birthday on a lake. It would involve going in the water, spending the night, sleeping in an unknown bed, drinking. That's too much amphibious adventure for me today. I think I'll sit home and drink green tea, read a book, eat oatmeal, cultivate an acute agoraphobia. Actually, what I wanted to do was wake up early, hike through Muir Woods and take photos to get back to nature, but I neglected to charge the battery for my camera and now it's dead. I'm charging it now, so maybe I'll head out a bit later.
My stomach is making some very strange sounds right now, terrible, frightening sounds, as though a brick of shit in my belly just melted into diarrhea, a chocolate miscarriage. Disgusting. Ok, I've covered cocks and defecations, masturbation and ejaculations, so what's next?
Cleaning up, I suppose.
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