You had me at Herpasaurus

Contagious

She walked passed him and met his eye. She wore a thin white open-backed shirt. He could see her shoulder blades, lined like bird wings, two dimples pressed into the small of her back. She was graceful and well-muscled, supple. Even in the darkness of the nightclub her skin gave off a sinful kind of radiance. Her moonlike orbit around the room pulled at his blood and created tides of excitement. He imagined what her lips would feel like against his, her coy eyes and mischievous smile as she took off her clothes; the impossible softness of her hair, the smooth skin covering her firm legs.

Fantasy is a powerful force, its potency hinged on the possibility - or impossibility - of its attainment. The more out of reach the object is, the more compelling it becomes; to a point. He knew he wouldn't approach her, what for? To yell some trite, ill-conceived line loudly into her ear over the music? Even if she responded positively, what then? Talk over the music the entire time, or just long enough to get a phone number? They were there to watch a show, not to talk to strangers. He considered that in a universe where the success of their tryst was assured, the fantasy would become his current reality: because fantasy must be dictated by what isn't going to happen, by what you don't have.

Well that's not always true, right? He didn't have herpes, but he wasn't fantasizing about that. Maybe if she had them, though. That's the line!

Hey baby, you so fly that I'd catch herpes from you and I wouldn't even care; tell me you have them and I'm yours.

Painful sores and lesions, like organic engagement rings. It really doesn't get any more romantic than that. After that he might tell her about how herpes actually came from the dinosaurs; it's what killed them you know. Just like some guy fucked a monkey and created AIDS, some caveman fucked a lesothosaurus and bam! Herpes. To really make this work, while talking about dinosaurs, he'd have to find a way to work in a joke about a thesaurus. Perfect. What's the worst that could happen?

"What do you think I'm an idiot? A caveman couldn't have fucked a dinosaur."

"Thank god," he thought, she knows that humans and dinosaurs didn't..."

"Dinosaurs were gigantic, it would just squash a caveman you fucking asshole."

In a universe somewhere, Stephen Hawking is fantasizing about being her.