Involuntary Masochist

 

We've all heard of incels, but have you ever heard of an inmas? It's me. Rhymes with dumbass, but means involuntary masochist. On my conquest for ever increasing painful medical procedures, this morning I visited the dentist for what I thought would be a routine filling. The tooth in question is one that's been problematic for over a decade now. Twice before, attempts were made to rectify the situation, but each time the results were less than ideal. Slowly decay manages to set in and I lose a bit more of the tooth. each time. A German dentist tried once more to treat it, maybe three or four years ago, but my current dentist indicated we'd have to have another go at it. So I showed up and buckled in for some lunchtime dentistry. First thing she did was apply what looked like dry ice to my tooth. She asked me if I could feel it. I couldn't. Two more times she applied the cold at different locations, but nothing. 

"I'm afraid the tooth may be dead," she said.

Well, then what?

"Then we need a root canal."

Okay. How can we tell for sure if the tooth is dead?

"Let's begin the filling without any pain medication."

My face said what for me. 

"If you don't feel anything then the tooth is dead."

Yeah, I understand the logic, but if the tooth is alive this is going to be quite the sensation.

"Well, then at that point I'll give the pain medication."

It didn't seem like there was another option for me, so I reluctantly agreed. For a few minutes I too suspected the tooth to be dead. But then. ZAM! 

"It's alive!" Dr. Frankenstein cried.

My tooth is still aching. Partially from the trauma of all the drilling but also because of the weird plastic tarp they attach to the base of the tooth to separate it from the rest of the mouth. I definitely appreciate that all the debris and bacteria land on it instead of directly into my mouth, but god damn that thing irritates the fuck out of my gums. Honestly I can't localize whether the pain I feel right now is on the gum or the tooth itself. Maybe it's both.

The only remaining doctor's appointment I have left is one next week which should just be an annual checkup and some bloodwork. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this encounter is quick and painless.

At 8:00AM tomorrow I have my appointment for permanent residency. It's taken literally one year and a week since I submitted the request for them to grant me an appointment. Everything is good to go except I still don't have the proof of my test results from the citizenship exam I took last month. Probably they will arrive tomorrow at lunch, just in time to be worthless. It's astonishing to me that it's taken them 5 weeks to grade a test I finished in 5 minutes. If I am denied permanent residency tomorrow because of it, I don't know what I'll do. 

(Moving discussion of The Human Condition to tomorrow because my tooth has decided it is what I am to focus on for the next while)