I just happened across a few disturbing articles that suggest a link between PPI's (proton pump inhibitors) and dementia, as well as osteoporosis. What's a PPI, you ask? PPI's are prescribed for people suffering from GERD, heartburn, or chronic acid-reflux. They work by shutting down the acid producing part of the cells in your stomach, thereby curbing symptoms of heartburn. Many of them are now available over the counter. They are the 3rd most commonly prescribed drug in the country. As someone who took them daily for 10 years, this is deeply unsettling to me. Had I known, or even suspected the possibility of consequences, I would have sought an alternative solution. Instead I'm left with a near-certain fate of brittle bones and a bad brain. I'm actively auditioning for the part of Scarecrow in J.J. Abram's remake of The Wizard of Oz.
Perhaps this is why, as I've gotten older, it's harder for me to focus. Constantly I experience the feeling of mental lassitude, of walking in a fog, perpetual forgetfulness. This is exacerbated powerfully by heavy drinking or pot smoking. Often, while out on a night of drinking, there will come a point when, unbeknownst to me (or my compatriots), I'll have blacked out. It happens frequently, too frequently for it to be unconcerning. What's problematic about it is that despite being blacked out, I'm still completely, convincingly coherent. I don't fall over or make terrible decisions or humiliate myself or become uncharacteristically uproarious, I just stop encoding memories. One time I even drove my friends home from Sonoma - nearly an hour drive - not realizing I was unfit to. My error was only revealed to me the next day, when I asked them how we got home. Something is faulty, for sure. The osteoporosis part I'm less worried about - I get plenty of calcium. I'll just continue to be mindful of calcium supplementation. Maybe they make calcium suppositories.
Earlier I was editing photos I'd taken yesterday with Q. Many of them I'd deliberately exposed darker, to experiment with creating the appearance of a shot taken at night. Any scene that was shrouded in shadow was suitable, as long as the sun's spotlight fell in patches on a branch, or a flower, or the trunk of a tree. Some of the photos were strange, the trees taking on a human shape, seeming to, at times, signify worry. Which got me thinking: do trees fear the dark? Do they shrink away from it and huddle imperceptibly closer? Do their branches subtly tremble from the chill of the night air? The animals that scurry noisily over dead leaves in the dark, do the trees stand still with rigid fright at the sound? Humans have the luxury of being able to cower under the blanket safety of a canopy. Trees are left with no such shelter. Their nakedness is exposed to the watching moon. It shines its light down onto their leafy heads, along with the sun and stars and passing planes. A drifting balloon. A runaway kite. Soaring birds.
I wonder, has anyone been hit by a falling bird that died of natural causes mid-flight? Would it hurt? I guess that would depend on the size of the bird. Maybe the difference, to a tree, between day and night, is the blink of an eye. Or perhaps a season is more fitting. The tree blinks and its lashes fall to the ground around it. It opens its eyes again as its lashes bloom. Blink. Bloom. Repeat.
Today is technically the second day of Saturday because Martin Luther King Jr. Day is tomorrow. I should go out an do something. Can we just remove the Jr. from his name? It sounds silly to call such an American giant by a suffix that implies smallness, or a quality of being lesser. Who decided it was okay to lump him in with the likes of the Whopper Jr.?
Now I want Burger King.
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