I'm up early, before the rain. It started yesterday and it's supposed to continue through Monday. Funny that during this brief window of absence I'll need to shower. Some things are just inescapable.
Last night I had dinner with friends, sushi. A few minutes before our food arrived the Profuser began acting strange. He's always strange, really, but there was something especially troubling about his demeanor. His hair was flipped up too, which added a caricature-esque novelty to his head, gigantizing it. There was something very Beavis about his butthead. I got the impression something interesting was happening behind me, but because it was behind me I couldn't easily turn around and survey the scene. After an unnerving wait, our food finally came; glorious little rolls wrapped full of fish and rice and avocado. Seconds later the Profuser's expression became more animated. I heard something spill near the bar behind me. Drunks, I thought. When I met the Profuser's eye he looked concerned, transfixed even, and he motioned that I move nearer to him. That's when I heard it. Violent, regurgitory retching. We were witness to a textbook bistro demonic possession. Either that, or she didn't like the sushi. I turned to see what was happening and saw her unloading gallons of raw fish and rice, seaweed, all bathed in stomach acid. She had a fire hose for an esophagus. It was splattering, reaching across the floor to grab at my socks and shoes. Suddenly a waitress and a sushi chef dressed like a priest burst through a back door and made a beeline for the poor possessed woman. The Profuser's lady and I had front row seats to the exorcism. I scooted over to make room, stuffed a piece of sushi in my mouth as though it were popcorn and watched the spectacle.
The woman was evacuated, but not before she stunk up the restaurant with her belly perfume. The waitress approached our table and apologized. "She was very drunk," she told us.
"What are you guys drinking; next one is on me."
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